Not Quite What I Was Planning: 6 Word Memoirs

Just finished the above titled book and it was fantastic. Writers, both famous and obscure, summarized their lives in just 6 words. Some of them are funny ("Woman Seeking Man - High Pain Threshold", "Verbal Hemophilia - Why Can't I Clot?"), some poignant ("I Still Make Coffee For Two", "Almost A Victim of my Family"), all are very very touching.

SO --- how would you describe yourself, your life in six words? Could you do it?

Mine's still a work in progress but for now it goes like this:
Totally Excellent Mother - Obviously Shitty Partner

Let's hear your 6 Word Memoir, ladies.